I want to be successful but why am I screwing up my own life?

I-want-to-be-successful-but-why-am-I-screwing-up-my-own-life?

Have you been self sabotaging yourself from achieving your dream career goals? If you go huh that’s stupid why would I do that? I want to be successful why am I going to screw up my own life?

I have to ask …. Have you achieved all your current career and study goals ? If YES excellent, you are on track. Let’s celebrate.

However if you find yourself saying NO then perhaps you are engaging in behaviour that is sabotaging your attempts for your own success.

What is self sabotaging?

Self-sabotage is any action and behaviour which gets in the way of achieving your dream goals. Its creating 101 problems that get in the way of your dreams.

Some common self sabotaging behaviour includes procrastination, self medication (drugs & alcohol)
Self harm or “Less Than” thinking.

It’s any behaviour that brings a negative impact on your body or mind

Sometimes we are not aware of this behaviour, as a result we struggle to handle or express our feelings and then end up NOT creating the lifestyle we desire.

Let’s talk about it today  …..

I want to focus on procrastination and  “ Less Than “ thinking and by the end give you a few hacks to help you…. Is that ok ?

Does any of the below sound familiar to you?

I was going to apply for jobs but you watched Netflix all weekend?

I was going to study for an exam or complete assignments but spent all that time surfing the net & on Social Media?

I was going to work on 1 of my career/study goals but then your best friend got dumped so of course I had to be there?

You get where I’m going, It’s anything you are doing that’s taking you away and putting roadblocks to your future success.

The last one is the one to look out for as this can be very destructive to your future success .  The first two examples can be a quick fix as the moment you get real with yourself IE you accept you didn’t use your time wisely and as a result you did not achieve your goal it can be simple to fix with self discipline & consistency.

However when we tell ourselves our Career/Study goals are less important than the people we care for or we use this person or a life situation as a reason to not pursue our goals that’s when your future dreams are in trouble !

Future dreams can not be achieved when that little voice inside of you is saying …….

” I can’t do it!”

“That’s way too difficult!”

“If I try, I will fail why bother?”

“I’m going to disappoint my ……. “

“I am such a failure!”

“I’m not worthy  “

If it sounds familiar, then yes, you are guilty of sabotaging yourself.  Don’t panic, you are not alone, trust me. In the past I have engaged in self sabotaging behaviour which held me back from achieving my goals. Self-sabotaging thoughts are normal part of living life, it is part of growing up.

Here’s what I figured out  “ Learning to own your life and creating new positive patterns of behaviour is the key to success. “

So why do we sabotage ourselves?

We tend to do so out of insecurity or feeling “ Less Than”  because we are afraid to take action which involves putting ourselves out there to achieve our goals .

Recognising the pattern of Self sabotaging behaviour

What does it look like ?

It’s going out partying the night before an important exam or assignment deadline.

It can occur in your career when you stay in a job you hate and keep putting off looking for a better one.
Or maybe it is in a relationship you find excuses to not commit because you are afraid of rejection or a diet plan you have been cheating on! Who said eating 6 donuts for breakfast is bad ?

Reality is from time to time we all need a kick up the backside to get us on track and keep us there.

Let’s figure it out together, here are a 3 hacks on how you can deal with self sabotaging .

I’m here to help you not judge you!

Top 3 hacks to reduce self sabotaging behaviour

1. Identify the Self-Sabotage Behaviour

Identify-the-Self-Sabotage-Behaviour

Firstly, Identify the behaviour that is preventing you from moving forward in reaching the successful life you want.  Do this Simple 5 min activity “Im worth it “

Answer the following questions . Write down the answers;

  1. Look back in your life when did you last set a career/study goal which you did NOT achieve?
  2. What type of self-sabotage behaviour did you engage in and why?
  3. How did this stop your from reaching the next level of success or wealth?
  4. What action will you take to ensure success?
  5. Find 1 person who will hold you accountable and ask them for their support.

Once you have acknowledge the behaviour patterns you use when you engage in self sabotage use the “Im worth it “ activity to transform yourself into taking positive action .

Empowering thoughts = Positive action

2. Own your life choices

Own-your-life-choices

You wake up late as a result you turn up late to school and miss your exam – Do you blame your parents ?

The night before a big job interview, instead of practising interview techniques, you spend it going to the movies with your friends – Do you blame your friends when you don’t get the job?

You buy a really expensive mobile phone- over your budget and so now you can’t afford to pay the electricity bill so the company switches off the electric – Do you blame the electricity company?  

Blaming others for our own self sabotaging behaviour may make you feel good but long-term it will not serve you in a positive way as the story you are telling yourself is that you do not control your destiny which eventually will hold you back from moving forward to achieving the lifestyle you want.

It’s only when you put yourself in the driving seat of your life which means taking responsibility for the good and bad that you start to build up self confidence.

Every choice you make has a consequence including not making a choice.

Behaviours such as, procrastination and lack of commitment towards your work may lead you to feeling empty, unfulfilled or angry because you are not moving forward in life.

It’s kinda ironic too because when you’re younger all you want to do is be taken seriously, yet when the time comes to take responsibility for our choices we find ways not to!

It’s scary taking personal responsibility but it’s well worth it as nothing can match that feeling of achievement when you reach your goals.

That brings me onto hack no 3 and why you need to surround yourself with people who help you to become the best version of yourself.

3. Create your support Network – Team career success

Create-your-support-Network-Team-career-success

It is not always easy to change a habit even when it’s simple and you may not see the results overnight. In fact, you might catch yourself falling off the bandwagon sometimes and self sabotaging whilst you move towards your success. But that is okay.

YES, you read that right it is OKAY to sometimes fall back to your old habits.  But you have to be quick to jump back up again and stop yourself from doing more damage.

This is where you need a support Network of like-minded people . Because….

1 They will keep you Accountable.

2  Will call you out on your bullshit excuses.

3 They will be your cheerleader when you doubt yourself.  

I want to be clear I’m encouraging you to find people or the one person who will support you to become the best version of you. Not encourage you in negative self destructive behaviour.

Find people who will support you & nurture positive thoughts & actions that will allow you to conquer your fears and create the lifestyle you want for yourself.

Create a list on who is on your “team career success”

Once you stop saying you can’t do it and start focusing on being present, consistent in positive action and surround yourself with motivated people,  there will be less opportunity to engage in self-sabotaging behaviour.

Are you ready to take it to the next level?

Are  you ready to move forward by taking control of your future but you need a little help and guidance?

Yes?

Let me guide you and be part of your support Network to help you create your personalised career action plan – the tool used by successful people .

As a Career Lifestyle Specialist, I am here to help you with your career success and I have just the thing for you!

Email us here to book a career guidance session

Or  

Come join us & like us on FacebookInstagram and Twitter and stay tuned for more amazing content!

If you have a friend that’s struggling with feeling like s@#& when they have to do anything big and constantly think they cant do it . Forward this to them, they’ll thank you for it!

Till then,
You got this!
Sabiha

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