(Read time: 7 mins)
Do you people please?Last week we spoke about the 3 reasons why you sabotage your career and how to fix your career GPS to reach #Studygreatness & #Careergreatness
Click here to read more
Here’s why people pleasing is harming your career success
|A few weeks ago I was out shopping when I get a call from my 5 year old niece asking what time I would be there, I told her I was shopping and I would be there in an hour. As I wanted to treat her with a gift so I asked her what would she like?|
After some silence she asked for cheese onion crisp, I asked if she wanted a toy or something else but she expressed she was happy with her choice.
When I got to the house and presented her with her snack she informed me that the crisp were not for her but for her older brother as she wanted to do something nice for him.
My first reaction was omg that’s so sweet and adorable, how generous and giving she is… I felt proud of her amazing generosity.
However later, I started to feel uncomfortable with what I had witnessed and felt sad.
I realised that at 5 years old she had learnt her needs did not matter and she had learnt not to vocalise her needs and other people’s needs were more important than hers!
This broke my heart because I don’t want her to grow up with this mindset. Here’s why people pleasing is harming your career success
Why People Pleasing Harms your Career Success?
It’s having a mindset of less than that prevents us from achieving and even feeling like we are not not worthy of all the wonderful rich abundance of opportunities there are in the world.
Let me be clear I don’t have an issue with my niece’s generous heart. The fact that she wanted me to get her brother the snack is thoughtful and shows empathy. This quality in her is what makes her a beautiful amazing strong young little girl.
I know the example I shared is an everyday activity however some of us have learnt this behaviour and now we do this in our careers. Perhaps you find yourself resonating with this story because you have also done this and it resulted in feeling like I give so much and It’s never appreciated, valued or reciprocated.
Here is the thing, had she have asked for the snack for her brother PLUS what she wanted this would be a very different conversation and I would have felt extra proud of her.
Do you see the difference?
Do you possess the first mindset which is there is enough for everyone – I can have what I need and there is plenty for those who I love too.
The second mindset is there’s not enough for everyone so I will sacrifice my needs for others. There isn’t enough to go around and so I should let others have this abundance. You think you are showing how caring and loving you are however,
Is this mindset and expression of love and care costing you your Career Success?
How can you get what you need, plus still show, care and love to those you care about?
I will show you how in a min first…
When you have a mindset that is not enough for everyone you tell yourself:
- Your needs don’t matter.
- You shouldn’t vocalise your needs to others including with people who are willing to help you meet them.
- Other people’s needs are more important than yours
Then you’re on a path to Self Destruction and Career Dissatisfaction.
The situation with my niece got me thinking how many times do we in our studies and careers people please?
- How many times have you done this with your studies or careers ?
- How many of you are currently in your quarter life crisis because of this?
- Did you choose the college/uni course to please family/friends?
- Are you currently in your profession because you suppressed your needs to please others?
- In work are you the one who’s first one in, last one out, does lots of extra work but it’s never recognised?
- Are you finding others who do less work are getting pay raises, promotions and you are still stuck in the same position?
I want to share with you some of the negative mindsets I had which had prevented me from my #Careergreatness.
I am sharing with you today what I learnt from the super successful people I admire and have connected with over the years which helped me to switch up this pattern of thinking and in some cases remove these negative non serving thoughts in to positive emotions.
Negative thoughts become negative actions
I had these negative thoughts and it was only after I reflected that I realised it was turning into negative patterns of behaviour that made me change my approach to my career.
This resulted in me creating my #Careergreatness and I want to help you to do the same too
What is currently happening in your life when you engage in poor choices and negative patterns?
When I worked with Helen one of my clients, one of the question she had was do I stay or leave my current employer? During her 121 coaching sessions we explored this and what resulted was she realised she had not fully taken advantage of the different opportunities so we created a personal action plan on how she would do this.
When we checked in with each other after we had completed her 121 coaching programme she had secured a pay rise and promotion and was doing more of the work she enjoyed.
What Prevents you from your #Careergreatness when you are people pleasing?
|Let me share a tool that helped Helen and can help you too….|
I want to help take your career success to the next level – Are you ready?
We all have choices in life and not making a choice is also a choice. Right now you are sitting here and some of you are ready to do what’s necessary to help yourself get out of this people pleasing mindset and achieve your #Careergreatness.
Then there are some of you who are on the fence or you are not ready to take action. Well let me ask you this: What will it cost you to do both?
Ask yourself if I take action what results will I see in my career?
If I don’t what will happen then?
Option 1 – Take action live and create the career you want and deserve
Option 2 – Stay the same perhaps become even more frustrated
I get it, change can be scary however, is this how you want to live the rest of your life scared, or do you want for to take control and live your best life?
Let me ease you in slowly today to start this invest in yourself.
|Don’t forget to join our movement to reach success in your studies and careers #Studygreatness #Careergreatness|
Join for FREE!
Share with us your experiences.
We are especially looking to hear from those of you who have overcome struggles in your studies or career.